Poly O' the Irish
By Elizabeth Scarlett
A couple of years ago, I received this letter in response to a column I wrote, “Defining Polyamory” (http://www.polypositivity.net/Defining%20Polyamory.htm):
"I read your fabulous article on Polyamory. It was really a great piece. Very balanced, clear, it flowed and was very personal. The personal touch gave it the real weight. Being poly at heart and with some experience, I already know the things of which you speak. But there are so few voices out there that can share the truth about it with the world in a way that will allow them to listen and will interest them. Thank you so much for writing it, and for putting yourself out there." -Randy Ralston, IRELAND
Since then, Randy and I have kept in touch. He moved to Ireland several years ago to live with his wife, a lovely Irish woman named Mel. Needless to say, I was tickled to receive the following letter earlier this year:
“Well, I finally went and did the thing I've been threatening to do for a long time now. I've just started the first (and only!) Polyamory discussion/support group in Ireland.”
Wheee! Way to go, Randy! He’s explained to me how different Ireland is from the US. Since it’s a much smaller, island nation (4.3 million vs. 300 million), he quickly learned that privacy is difficult and anonymity nearly impossible! Ireland has a “long history of religious conservatism and sexual repression. Gender roles are entrenched, sexual education is minimal and heavily influenced by the Catholic Church. Deviance is frowned upon. Divorce has only been legal here since 1995. Abortion as a family planning choice is still illegal - women wanting this must travel abroad to get it.”
“As you might imagine, people here have not had much exposure to alternative ways of thinking and being. I highly value intimate, loving relationships…so after awhile here, I began looking for 'my people'. Nowhere could I find anything having to do with polyamory in Ireland…so I just decided to build it and see if they would come. The Dublin Polyamory Discussion/Support group had its first meeting on January 22nd, 2008. We met in the front lobby of a large hotel. When enough people had arrived, we moved into the back lobby where it was quieter. Of the 10 people who turned up, there were a great variety of ages, sexual orientations, and backgrounds. At least one person had learned about the group from reading a poly professional's blog.” [Ms. Scarlett’s note: later confirmed as Seattle’s Mistress Matisse (http://mistressmatisse.blogspot.com/2007_12_30_archive.html)]
The February meeting increased to 15 people who discussed jealousy and compersion. “Some people traveled from across the country to be there.” Randy had contacted Dr. Deborah Taj Anapol, author, (www.lovewithoutlimits.com), and she donated some of her writings to the group for their discussions. “This time, the meeting was in a pub so it was difficult to harness the energy for a meeting. Once the meeting 'ended', a more social meeting began resulting in several good conversations that were not possible during the full meeting.”
Currently, there are 28 members and the next meeting is Tuesday, March 18th. If you are going to be in Dublin and want to join them, then go to http://polyamory.meetup.com/407/ and RSVP. They will be happy to have you!
Randy has agreed to contribute to the Poly Around the World page of www.polypositivity.net that will be launched in the next couple of months. I have other contributors from different countries, but am still very interested in finding more. If you live outside of the US and would like to write about Polyamory in your country, please contact me at elizabeth@polypositivity.net.